DDlg and the Daddy Elephant in the Room
Stop scrolling because you already found the short and sweet definition of DDlg:
A relationship between consenting adults, where a parent-child-like relationship occurs.
Ok.....what is DDlg, exactly?
In more-relaxed terms, a DDlg dynamic is simply a couple of adults who want to care for another person, and be cared for, within a BDSM lens.
This is probably your next question:
What does DDlg stand for?
DD/lg, or Daddy Dom little girl, is a subset of BDSM. Pop culture loves to refer to it as the "Daddy kink", and less often "the little kink".
You may also see it written as:
- DD lg
- dd lg
- dd little girl
Unlike traditional D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationships, a Daddy Dom takes on a more caring role, while the sub/little takes on more childlike qualities.
And while a Daddy Dom is gentler, there's still a power exchange in-place.
What's a power exchange?
It's when someone willingly hands control over theirself to another person.
While power exchanges may look different on the surface, they're all built on the foundation of trusting someone so much, you literally hand over your autonomy--on whatever both parties agree upon.
With that in mind, it's easy to see how any Daddy Dom little girl dynamic takes place within this structure.
Now that we've answered "what is DDlg?", it's time to ask your most burning question:
Is it pedophilia?
Discover the secrets behind a Daddy and little kink, and learn why girls like calling their boyfriends "Daddy".
A quick note: Daddies and little girls aren't the only ones who are in this type of dynamic--that'd be silly!
Instead, DDlg falls under the CGl (Caregiver/little) umbrella. This is a way to include all genders, on both sides of the slash.
But since you're here specifically for DDlg, we'll stick to those terms.
So, if you've asked yourself, "Am I into DDlg? Wait, what is DDlg exactly?" You're about to get your answer!
In this post, you'll learn about:
DDlg Myths: Making Weird Make Sense
DDlg IS NOT pedophilia. Not even close.
In fact, the community shuns it entirely, and condemns anyone who even associates with it.
How is DDlg Different from Pedophilia?
Despite the "roles" Daddies and littles take on, they're both consenting adults.
That means they're both of legal age, and can make decisions about their sex life.
A little cannot be an actual child, by definition.
As stated before, DDlg is a subset of BDSM. And as we know, BDSM is a kink. Therefore, DDlg is a kink.
In order to participate in kinks and fetishes, you must be 18. It's the law.
Minors cannot be a part of the kinky lifestyle, no matter how mature they look, act, or feel.
With that in mind, the DDlg community doesn't associate with people who ARE adults interacting with minors.
That, by definition, is pedophilia.
Daddy and little relationships can ONLY occur, if both parties are consenting adults. So, pedophilia does not fit into that definition.
But It's Not Always Sexual!
You might've encountered people who say that being little isn't inherently sexual.
A kink is a kink is a kink--regardless of if nudity, orgasms, or moaning are present. If it's under the BDSM umbrella, it's sexual or sex act, by nature. That's just the way it is.
And, a kink doesn't have to look "a regular sex life" to an outsider, to qualify for that kinky status.
Take a second to step outside of ddlg, and consider a common turn on:
A foot fetish.
Now, we know people like feet--understanding why isn't important. While each person's fetish may look different because:
- They appreciate different foot parts (toes, soles, arches, etc.)
- They prefer different coverings (socks, shoes, hosiery, etc.)
- They prefer different act (smelling shoes, simply admiring, licking/sucking, etc.)
But, they all have one thing in common:
But, what may sexually arouse one person, can be a massive turn-off to another person.
Sure, you can see why someone with a foot fetish may want a foot job. It's easy to imagine why that's pleasurable.
If someone enjoys simply looking at feet, though, you might wonder what's so hot about that?
Here's the thing:
It doesn't matter.
It turns that person on. It might not look like "normal sex" from the outside. Heck, it might not look like "normal sex" from the insider, either.
But, it's clear when someone has a foot fetish, they enjoy feet...and you don't question it. Well, because why would you?
Let's start to shift back to DDlg.
Since you have this kink or fetish, it's easy to wrap-your-head-around why you like it. You just do.
Even though your littleness may look different from someone else's, it doesn't change the fact that you have a Daddy kink.
You might not want sex at-freaking-all when you're in littlespace.
In fact, many littles are inherently asexual when they're in littlespace, so you're definitely not alone.
And on the flip side, many do have that sexual arousal and desire!
Either type of little is valid, but they're still both considered kinky--hence why true children aren't allowed to participate.
Here's the deal:
A community called "CGLre" (Caregiver/little-regression), asserts that they're littles, just without the sexual activities.
By definition, we've seen why this is impossible.
Instead, they're taking a common psychology term called "inner-child" and equivocating it with its sexual counterpart.
CGlre members--as much as they push for the name--are not littles. You may not come across this community, but it's an important distinction to be aware of.
Next up in myth busting: "But they call their boyfriend 'Daddy'! That's incest!"
Believing DDlg = Incest...Is Ignorant
Yes, a little calls her SO "Daddy".
But, that in no way indicates blood relations.
DDlg relationships provide a unique relationship, where one person cares for the other as if they were a small child.
That doesn't mean they're actually related. Rather, they're looking to emulate the *feeling* of being cared for.
I mean, who really doesn't love to be babied and having no responsibilities?
DDlg dynamics are simply 2 people being open about this desire to care and be cared for. No more, no less.
It's a bond that allows openness and rawness, which is uncommon in other types of relationships.
Now that we've cleared up those common misconceptions, let's look at what a Daddy really is.
Who's Your (DDlg) Daddy?
A Daddy is the Dom in this type of dynamic. They're considered the "adult" in the relationship, and provides guidance, mentoring, and structure for the little.
Daddies are not just males. They can be females, genderfluid, agender, and so much more. "Daddy" is simply their preferred title!
The Secret to Finding a Daddy Dom aka DDlg Dating
So, you wanna know how to find a Daddy of your own? Well, I've got you covered.
I've been to the rodeo a time or two, so I have a few tricks up my sleeve.
Before you go searching for a Daddy, though, you need to ask yourself a few questions:
- Are you looking locally, or are you ok with distance?
- If you're only down with someone local, how far are you willing to go?
- If you're down with distance, do you have a max-distance, or is world-wide acceptable?
- Do you have any "musts" for a Daddy? (Previous experience, a certain kink, etc.)
- What are your expectations? (A full-on relationship, a Caregiver with no sexual pleasure involved, etc.)
These should give you a rough idea of what you want out of your dynamic. Let's dive into local and distance Daddies.
How to Find Your Daddy Dom Locally
Before we get too far in, I want to forewarn you about this option: It takes time.
Like any other kink, Daddies don't make up a large portion of the population. So, you have to know that your prospects will come in much more slowly.
And, you may spend a good chunk of time educating potential candidates because they constantly ask you, "What is DDlg?"
That aside, finding a local Daddy is AWESOME because you get to see each other whenever you want!
You need to decide whether you'd prefer to look in-person or online.
I'd recommend online because it significantly opens up your potential pool. In-person works, but be aware it could take even longer.
Depending on how you answered the questions from above, you have a number of websites to consider:
OkCupid: Both an app and a website, this is definitely "vanilla" (non-kinky). But, it's not just hook-up seekers, like Tinder. Writing a profile and answering questions on sex (they use your answers to determine your personality traits and show you how well you "match" with people), will give you better matches.
(Also, this is one of the only DDlg dating apps that doesn't require a Facebook login
Kinkd: Another app, but this one's specifically for kinksters. So, you can be open about looking for a Daddy, and set your distance to a certain area.
Whiplr: A third app, also for kinky dating. It has a different vibe and doesn't have as large of a dating pool. But, it's worth a download nonetheless.
Reddit: Yep, this bad boy is really handy for finding a Daddy! There are a number of subreddits, including /DDlgPersonals/, /littlespacePersonals/, and /ageplayPersonals/. Simply post what you're looking for, and whether you're open to online dynamics.
DDlgForum: Of all DDlg forums, this one allows you to post personal ads searching for your Daddy. Sign-up for an account, add a bit about you, and then create your ad!
DateCGl: This website is build specifically for CGl relationships, so you'll find more than just Daddies and little girls!
DDlgFriends: What sets this site apart is the fact that it's more of a social media platform, than specifically a place to find your Daddy. You can meet other littles, get ideas, and more!
FetLife: The big Kahuna of the bunch. This is THE largest kinky platform out there. With a massive selection of groups and discussions, there are plenty of Daddies to find!
I'm sure there are other places, but these are some of your best bets. I've successfully found Daddies with these sites in the past!
Here's the truth, though:
Not every Daddy you interact with will have your best interest at heart. There are some behaviors and actions that should really make you think twice before moving forward.
This is exactly what you need to know to keep yourself safe, as a little looking for a Daddy.
How to Find Your Daddy Dom Locally
While series like 50 Shades of Gray are fantastic for exposure to kink...they can attract the wrong people.
Keep in mind:
MOST Daddies you interact with are perfectly safe. But, there are things you should definitely be aware of.
First up is demanding submission. There are times where a new Dom simply hasn't properly educated himself on the lifestyle.
But ultimately, it should ping your radar. You have 100% control as the sub. You choose your Daddy. Your Daddy does not choose you.
They call it the gift of submission for a reason--you're literally giving yourself over to someone. So, if someone demands that gift your antennae should be perked.
The second thing you should watch out for is not respecting your feelings. You're little, and littles can be sensitive.
Emotions don't have to make sense; they just are. So, if a Daddy tries to control how you feel or punish you for your feelings: RUN!
Third is using the cold shoulder as punishment. That should never EVER occur in any type of dynamic, DDlg or otherwise.
In fact, it's an abusive behavior. And you're not taking that crap for one second!
If a Daddy punishes out of anger, take that as a really bad sign. Punishments should NEVER happen out of anger.
A Dom should always settle their emotions, and punish according to the infraction--not based on how they feel.
Next is playing outside of the rules. Whenever you start talking and playing with a new Daddy, you always need to set ground rules.
Whatever you decide on MUST be respected--by both of you. So, if they start crossing the line you need to have a serious talk. And if they don't listen, cut it off.
On the opposite end, if a Daddy has too many petty rules, this can be a sign of over-controlling.
Sometimes it's because a Daddy is new and doesn't know. But if they're insistent after talking to them, sound the red alert.
In that same vein, be aware of Daddies who don't believe in "safe play". Basically, they don't think safe words or safety are important.
Safety is the #1 most important thing--after consent!
Don't give them a second thought if they "don't believe in it."
Another thing to watch out for is constant contact. Sure, it's nice to hold a consistent conversation.
Regardless of the dynamic, you're 2 adults who have to do adult-y things. So, if a Daddy can't handle the fact that you aren't always available to talk, that's a huge problem.
On the flip side, gauge their trustworthiness. That means watching how well they keep to their word, and tell the truth about their lives.
It can also include getting mad about contacting them outside of "pre-set times", only talking to you at weird hours, or just generally shady behavior.
Also be aware of how they interact with you outside of kink. If it's all sexual, or they won't interact with unless you participate in dirty talk, that's a huge red flag.
You are more than your kink. If they can't see that, it's 100% not ok.
And, if they have NOTHING nice to say about past partners, there's a good chance the problem is them. Most normal people can find the good in things, even if it didn't end well.
But if a Daddy only has negative sentiments about old littles or subs, take that as a bad sign.
Keep in mind, there are 2-sides to every coin. That means subs can illustrate bad behavior, too. Be sure to see these submissive red flags, for a more in-depth look!
Now that you're armed with that info, let's talk about littles!
Discover the Life of Littles
In order to answer the question, "What is DDlg?" It's super important to also understand, "What is a little?"
The most basic definition of a little is someone who takes on a mental age younger than the one on their birth certificate.
That means they take on childlike qualities, which depend on their little age.
Helpful, but you wanna know more about little ages, right?
Well, first we need to cover ageplay.
What is Ageplay?
Ageplay--sometimes written as "age play"--is a role play kink, where someone acts like a child.
Here's the thing:
Not all littles are into ageplay.
Nah, I'm not blowing smoke up your shorts. Instead, there's a subtle, but clear distinction between the two.
Ageplay means someone is literally playing and acting like a younger age.
Being little simply means you take on the mindset of a child. This is called a headspace, specifically, "littlespace".
That means a little wants to be treated more gently than a "regular" submissive partner, and can take on very innocent qualities. They may also have little interests, like stuffies.
But that doesn't mean they start acting like a child. As soon as a little acts like a child, they're engaging in ageplay.
Both are fantastic ways for littles to express themselves, and none is more valid than the other.
With ageplay under out belt, we're covering little ages!
You don't have to have a single little age. In fact, many littles identify across a spectrum, depending on how they're feeling that day.
Because of this, not all littles exhibit all qualities listed below. But, you can use this guide to get a general idea of what each little age looks like.
Little ages fall between infant and 10. If someone identifies with an older age, they're referred to as a "middle."
Punishments and rewards depend on the little's age. A 9-year-old little wouldn't be thrilled with a mobile, just like a 1-year-old little wouldn't be thrilled with a scrapbooking kit.
These are truly the babies of the bunch. They range from newborn to 11-months.
Just like babies, they shouldn't be punished in any significant way--they don't know any better.
Many infant littles are also ABDL, so they may wear diapers. Some may not be potty trained, either.
Onesies and diaper covers are popular with these littles. And a paci is a must!
Some of their favorite toys include rattles, stuffies, and mobiles.
These littles definitely know the word "No!", and can be punished when they don't listen.
Overall, they're very cute and cuddly--and have yet to hit their devious side.
They may crawl or walk, depending on their mobility. These littles may also be ABDL.
Onesies and diaper covers are appropriate, as are pacis--don't forget the clip.
These little ones love toys that make noise, and water toys (bath paints are popular!)
Ah, the terrible 2s. They're alive and well amongst toddler-aged littles.
As devious, cunning, and sneaky as they are, these cuties love cuddles and pleasing their Caregivers.
It should come as no surprise, but these littles often end up in trouble...and over Daddy's knee.
But, they're finally at an age where they understand rewards, so you can really get into some fun stuff.
They may still be interested in pacis and onesies, but many are starting to transition into pull-ups. They should also start using a sippie cup, over bottles.
Some of their favorite toys include action figures or dolls, legos, and dress up clothes.
Most littles of this age have passed the icky stages of 2, and exhibit the fun qualities of 3.
That's not to say they can't be bratty, though! If they don't get their way, well...look out for a meltdown.
(Find out the secrets to taming brats here).
Spankings are an appropriate punishment for these littles, and should be doled out without hesitation. As soon as you hesitate, they'll cute their way out of it!
While they say they're big girls, they still love the comfort of onesies and pacis. Some may still wear pullups, but all should be using sippie cups.
Some of their favorite toys include play doh, dolls, and coloring everything.
These littles are starting to grow up more. They still have a toddler-like side, but can think for themselves.
That means they're full of questions, and want to explore anything and everything. So, be on the lookout for when they climb furniture!
You can spank these littles at any time. They can definitely have a bratty side that needs to be tamed, too.
Most of these littles are past wearing onesies, but some may still be in pullups or using a paci.
Go-to toys include slime, board games, and craft supplies.
By now, littles know why they should follow what Daddy says...and actually follow through.
But look out for a tantrum, because they're a sight to see! A while later, though, and they might be back to singing and dancing.
Some of their favorite things include obstacle courses, making art, and coming up with games.
A 5-year-old little may use a paci, she may not. From here on out, it becomes hit-or-miss.
These littles love play involving jumping on trampolines, anything to do water, and building things.
6- & 7-Year-Old Littles
These little goofballs love making Daddy crack up. They're all about being silly.
While they can be bratty, they're good way more than bad. They'll try to push the boundaries, though, to really see what they can get away with.
Most littles of this age won't use a paci. But, many are still sleeping with stuffies and blankies.
Some of their favorite toys include art supplies, jewelry making stuff, trading cards, and sports.
8-, 9-, & 10-Year-Old Littles
These littles are on the cusp of being middles. That means they'll back-sass you without a second thought.
Overall, they're still sweet and haven't hit the bratty teenage years. But, that's not to say they don't have their own zingers.
These littles likely shun baby girl and boy items because "they're too old for that"...but you might catch them snuggling a stuffie or two.
Favorite toys include big girl dolls, science kits, art supplies, video games, and sporting equipment.
DDlg Punishments for Littles
With little ages under out belt, it's time to discuss appropriate punishments for littles.
Remember: Every little is different, so these are simply guidelines, when it comes to DDlg punishments.
As previously mentioned, many littles fluctuate in age. So, it's important to cover punishments as a whole, to decide what's right for your dynamic.
Here are some of the more common ones.
Hands-down, this is the most popular DDlg punishment.
That's because it's exciting for both parties--especially if you're sadistic or masochistic.
And, it can be implemented in a number of ways, depending on the desired type of pain.
Some of the most common implements include:
Oftentimes, spankings are given over-the-knee (OTK), but they can also be given in a chair, while tied up, and so much more.
Our awesome spanking guide hands you everything you need, to safely spank that booty.
Yep, the good ol'-fashioned timeout. Every little hates them. But, they're super effective.
Timeouts can be enacted by sending a little to her room, forcing corner time, or having her sit in a specific spot.
The length of time is typically determined by age and severity of the infraction.
Take Away Something
Nothing gets a little in line faster than taking away sweets, privileges, or a favorite toy.
Counting to 3 is a good way to build up to this punishment.
You can take away almost anything that will snap their behavior back (except time away from Daddy!)
Ah, the dreaded lines. This is suitable for older littles because they must know how to write.
Depending on what they did, determine the number of lines, what must be written, and when it must be done by.
Make sure their handwriting is neat. Be extra sadistic and require cursive!
This punishment for littles has 2 sides: Forced orgasms and no orgasms.
Forced orgasms is exactly how it sounds--forcing a little to cum over-and-over. Pleasure quickly turns to pain, teaching a very quick lesson.
No orgasms means you take away a little's privilege to cum. And if they cum during this time, punishments are infinitely more severe.
Daddies can even require a chastity belt, if they're feeling evil.
DDlg Rewards That Make Littles Squeak With Excitement
Without DDlg rewards, there is no balance. Again, because littles vary in ages, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what they like.
So, use this as a suggestion for finding the right ones.
New Little Toy
Every little has something they enjoy when in littlespace. The perfect reward for littles tends to be surprising them with something, or taking a trip to pick out a new toy.
These DDlg toys don't have to be expensive, but they'll always make a little light up.
Common little toys include:
- Art supplies
- Board or card games
- Coloring books
- Dress up clothes
- Balls or other sports equipment
- Activity books
The sky's the limit. It really depends on the little you're buying for!
New Big Toy
Not all littles enjoy sexual activities, but many do. So, it can be a real treat to receive a new toy for playtime.
Depending on the kinks you'd like to explore or already enjoy, the list of toys is endless.
Some to consider:
- Tail or regular plugs (to prepare for anal sex)
- Dildo or vibrator
- Partner sex toys
- Shibari rope
- Other restraints
- Spanking implement (for impact play)
- Feathers (for sensation play)
- Mask or hood (for sensory deprivation)
- Candles (for wax play)
The list could go on-and-on. All that matters is that it's fun and interesting!
No matter what a little's age, it's always a blast to go somewhere. So, planning an adventure is a great DDlg reward.
Adventures can be both big and small, ranging from a full-on vacation, to a trip to the library.
Consider some of these ideas:
- Book store
- Toy store
- Pet adoption event
- Sporting event
- Munch/kink event
Or, if you want something bigger try:
- Trip to a new city
- Disneyland or world
- Skiing or snowboarding
- Beach resort
- Hiking a famous trail
- Bike trip
- Surprise (Go to airport and choose cheapest flight)
It really depends on what you and your little enjoy!
Whether it's a little book, big book, or book signed by a favorite author, books are ALWAYS a great choice.
After all, you want to make sure your little loves to read. It'll help them later in life--and Daddies are all about mentoring.
Buuuuuuut, not all books are of the reading-kind. There are also:
If you're looking to try a new kink, this is a great way to surprise your little:
Get a book or guide that covers what you want to try.
I don't know a single little that doesn't enjoy food. It could be new cereal, a smoothie, or even something sugar-y, like dessert.
If you want to be extra fancy, consider ordering something from a specialty bakery.
Really, you can never go wrong with donuts or cupcakes (just make sure your little doesn't have food allergies!).
If you're looking for something more out-of-the-box, think about little space food menus, to help making meal times easy.
Whether it's little clothes or big clothes, clothes are an awesome DDlg reward.
Playing dress-up is common amongst littles, and a princess dress would likely be appreciated.
Just know, if you pick out a big girl outfit and tell a little to wear it, she'll be delighted. Daddy picking out your clothes, um hellooooooo??
In the end, littles love almost any reward because it comes from Daddy!
But, how do you know when to give DDlg rewards and punishments for littles?
Depending on a little's age, there are a number of things to track.
As a Daddy, you're mentoring a little girl, and providing good life skills. So, you need to monitor all behavior, good and bad.
Chores are Absolutely the Devil
First is chores.
You may or may not have a set of daily, weekly, or monthly chores your little must complete.
If not, consider getting some in place.
(We have a super straight-forward workbook, if you're struggling to come up with the right ones!)
As much as we hate chores (trust me, we HATE them), Daddy knows how much it helps littles stay organized.
So, this is a great way to get your little to maintain their room, clean, or eat on a certain schedule.
Chores can be tracked a number of different ways.
A chore chart is very common. This is just a sheet of paper that lists out the chores, and has a place to mark if it was completed. You can snag pre-made ones, or fill-in-your-own.
A chore app for littles is also popular. Daddy inputs the chores, and little uses their phone to mark which one's they've done.
Both are very effective. Don't forget stickers if you're using a paper chart!
DDlg Sticker Charts for the Win!
Now, this is very similar to a chore chart. But, it's a separate document, where you track a little's good behavior.
Some Daddies refer to them as "star charts", just like you'd have back in elementary school.
Stickers (or checkmarks) get added to the sheet. When little reaches a certain amount, they can turn in the points, or keep building for a bigger reward.
It's important to set the reward levels when you first start using the chart--otherwise little won't know what they're working towards!
You also need to discuss whether points can be taken away for bad behavior. This is best used with older littles.
Design your own, or get your hands on one that's made-for-you.
Daddy and little Rules
Rules are very common in DD lg dynamics, simply owing to their nature.
That's because littles require structure and stability. The easiest way to implement that is with rules--especially when Daddy doesn't live nearby.
Just like every vanilla couple is different, the same can be said for BDSM relationships. So, no set of rules is one-size-fits-all. Instead, setting rules is very important to laying the groundwork of a successful relationship.
When you're crafting DDlg rules for littles, remember this:
A rule should always enhance a little's life--not add needless stress.
So, what constitutes a good rule?
DDlg Rules That, Well...Rule!
Good rules make a little a better person--even if they don't personally enjoy it.
They're based on safety, helping the little achieve a goal, or providing general structure.
Safety rules include letting Daddy know when you're meeting someone, when you arrive home, and anything during play time.
Goal-achieving rules can be focused on setting a workout routine, sticking to a healthy diet, or forming good organizational habits.
General structure is a huge range, with things like bedtimes, eating a certain number of meals, good morning/good night texts, and chores.
(Chores AREN'T rules, but they can overlap!)
There's one last type of rule: Daddy dom rules. Some Daddies like their littles to do certain things. This is awesome, as long as littles agree!
These rules can be things like Daddy choose underwear for the day, sending Daddy a pic of your outfit every day, or setting aside time to be little.
Bad rules exist, too.
What Makes a Rule for littles "Bad"?
Bad rules are harmful to the Daddy or little, or are unnecessary.
My first Daddy implemented this rule where I wasn't allowed to open the car door myself. I always had to wait for him.
It was super inconvenient, he didn't punish regularly, and it annoyed me more than it helped me.
This is an example of a bad rule: It hindered, rather than helped.
A rule doesn't have to be malicious to be bad. "Bad" simply means it didn't make a little's life better.
Other bad ddlg rules include requiring a little to stay a certain size, not allowing them to cry, no sending typos in a message, or not allowing a little to use knives or scissors.
All of these make a little's life harder, and not in a good way.
The easiest way to find good rules for littles, is to sit down and talk about it!
Tackling the Rules Convo
As a little, it's important to know what you want your Daddy to help you with, from keeping your room clean, to eating a certain number of meals.
Daddies need to understand that just because they want a rule, it doesn't mean it'll work for their little.
Rules are about compromising on a set that makes your dynamic flow smoothly.
The glorious thing about them is that they can be changed, added, or subtracted at any time. This isn't Moses and the 10 Commandments.
So, if you feel like something sucks, reconsider why it was a rule in the first place.
And, don't go all-in when you first establish rules. To keep yourself happy and sane, setting a few rules is your best bet. You can always add more later.
Ultimately, you're testing the waters to see what works for your dynamic.
So....What Is DDlg?
DDlg by definition, is Daddy Dom little girl.
It's a sub-community of BDSM, where there's a gentler side to the dynamic. Nonetheless, it's considered a kink.
For many, it's sexual. But, it can be entirely devoid of sex, too.
So, when you're asking the question, "What is DDlg?" it's quite simple:
It's a relationship where two people are open about what they want, and are willing to provide love, care, and support, in a judgement-free way.
What better way to love someone, than without any judgement?